Archive for the ‘Working Out/Health’ Category

I hate writing this post as I feel it makes me look weak but one is only as sick as their secrets.

If I keep this a secret I will keep doing it so I am making a public post on FB to keep me honest.
During the stress with the health of my father I succumbed and started smoking again. I know it is stupid given my own health issues. I should have been stronger but I wasn’t.
I am posting that I am smoking to give myself a kick in the ass to stop.
I didn’t smoke for 6 years.
I need to stop. I keep telling myself every day I will stop but then I go out and buy more.

I hope by posting this I hold myself accountable.


Tommy needs to lose some weight. He isn’t happy with the food reduction so I thought perhaps some exercise would help make this go faster for him. (and me).

I put him on the treadmill and of course when I turned it on he went flying across the room. I then put him on the exercise bike but his little feet couldn’t reach the pedals. I then tried to get him to lift weights but he just put his head on them and fell asleep.
I was out of ideas and heck it was breakfast time so stood up to feed him. He raced down the hall. I then sat down. He raced back to me. I stood up again and he raced down the hall. I sat back down again. I did this about 20 times until he got his heart rate up. Needless to say I was thrilled with this newly discovered exercise plan. For dinner we will shoot for 40 times.

He got an excellent workout.
Sammy of course thought this was hysterical and called Tommy and idiot but thanked him for the entertainment

I never used to take care of myself –

Hating my body –

The wolf whistles from men when I was in good shape as a woman

make me want to curl up in a little ball

they used to honk their horns

and yell out smooching noises

It continued when I came out of the closet as a lesbian

but with the change of my outward appearance

it eventually stopped

but the hatred of my body didn’t

I never uncurled myself from that little ball

Being free of my job I’m able to

be me

and not have to shave

keep my hair ‘professional’ and acceptable for clients

I’m finally passing more

Three years on T gave me the deeper voice

body changes

but I had to shave every morning –

I’ve been working out 5 to 6 days a week to get myself back

I made a committment to myself

The T settles me and makes me more focused

Today was my heavy work out day

Part of taking care of myself is my commitment and my word to myself.

In my haste to meet my buddy earlier I neglected to do three weight exercises.

I remembered it as I was getting ready for bed.

Instead of waving it off I got up and did them – three sets each. I am glad I did.

I made a promise to myself to take care of myself and I have to honor that commitment.

Keeping true to myself and my word extends beyond myself. If I am able to honor my commitments to myself then I can do that with others as well

– it’s about respecting myself.

Uncurl slowly….

Whoa – I have no idea how this happened but it did. I have been paying so much attention to my gut and my fat ass that I haven’t been looking at my legs. I just looked at my calves. When I rest them the calf part would be loose and I could swat it and it would move. I just did that now and it doesn’t move at all! It is solid muscle!

My triceps are starting to look good when I flex them but when they aren’t flexed they still have the movement – I think I will increase the weights on them today and slip in an additional triceps workouts in my routine. My main concentration is on my chest – the better developed I have my chest muscles the better my chest surgery will go with regards to making it look more male.

Women should do chest presses too – if you are small chested it will push your breasts out further to make you look bigger if that is your wish. If you are small or large developing good chest muscles will also help with the sagging that happens as you get older.

I do love bodybuilding a lot. I look at Cameron and Buck Angel. They are pretty damned buff. That is what I am going for. I just don’t want to overdevelop my chest muscles so they look too much like women’s breasts. But, Cameron and Buck have great looking chest muscles and that is what I am aiming for.

In order to get their great stomach muscles though I will really have to change up my diet a little bit. Then again, who the heck knows what kind of stomach muscles I have developed underneath the current fat I have on my stomach.  I might be surprised when I lose the last half of this weight on me as my diet is pretty much fat free, preservative and chemical free except for a few exceptions.

Okay – time for the second half of my workout – kettle bells and heavy weight boxing bag.