Close To His Chest

Posted: September 3, 2012 in Emotions, Family
Tags: , , , , ,

I had a chat with my mother yesterday. My father is still in and out of hallucinations and not clear. His lungs still have water in them.

Though he is not in immediate signs of death as he was last week he has not improved outside of that. The hospital is doing brain scan on him due to the possibility of brain damage from the lack of oxygen. The doctor’s give him 2 years at most to live due to him having only 50% of his heart working. He has already undergone two heart surgeries and nothing has helped him.

Yesterday I surrendered to the fact that my father is no longer who he is. My mother and I spoke about it. She is now also coming to the realization that her husband may no longer physically and mentally be the man she married.

We are always the eternal optimists though and are hoping for the best. We are giving it two more weeks to see if there is any change in his condition. If not then I will be flying out there probably mid-September to tune up her car, change the plugs, show her how to balance the checkbook, go over their health insurance policies, show her what I will need to do their taxes for them next year, check their furnace and clean it out for her and other things that my father used to do.

Fortunately, my mother is very popular in their little village so she has lots of friends looking in on her. I won’t have to worry about her in that aspect.

Though, we know he is in there somewhere as she read my letter to him and though he didn’t show any outward appearance of having heard it when she tried to put the letter away he took it and held it close to his chest.

We’ve come to a place of acceptance and hope for the best but know that someday this time will come.

  1. mymindofaman says:

    Hey man. I can imagine that your anxiety/stress level is through the roof right now. I don’t know exactly how you feel, but I was in a similar situation where my sister had been fighting breast cancer & the doctors told us there was nothing more they could do. So in january I sat with her every day while she was on hospice until she passed. Even though it’s not the exact same situation, I’m here. I’ve been told I’m not such a bad guy lol. Just wanted to reach out to you so you know you’re not alone and if you ever want you can inbox me.

  2. David Gomez says:

    Mymindofaman – how horribly heart wrenching about the loss of your dear sister. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is not the exact same situation but it is at the same time the same situation as it is someone you love, family, a bond that was forged as a child. So in that sense it is and so terribly sad. Your post helped me a great deal the other day when I read it and I am thankful you posted that. I think it helped me to realize I am not alone in this sadness of a dear loved one passing and though incredibly sad we have to continue to live our life and not allow such sadness to keep me paralyzed. Thank you so much for sharing that with me brother.

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