Real Friends See Beyond Gender

Posted: July 14, 2012 in Life In General
Tags: , , , , ,

I have some very lovely hetrosexual cisgender women friends. I used to ride the express bus with them every morning and rode with them on the way home every evening for the past 6 years. They knew me as a butch dyke.

None of us are drinkers so our bus ride home was our happy hour. We talked about everything under the sun and during the winter, everything under the moon.

We talked some politics, other passengers we didn’t like – mainly Eileen – we were family and care about each other a great deal – the death of Fran’s parent, Rosie’s fight with cancer, Paula’s acting career and my – well I never really spoke about myself but they loved me because I spoke my mind and they knew I would back them up any time anyone gave them crap.

We were family.

They aren’t extremely political, don’t know much about LGBT rights but believed everyone deserves to have equal rights and be loved.

Then Chaz came out as an FTM – not a bad word was spoken about him and they were excited he was on dancing with the stars.

I finally came out to them as an FTM three weeks ago.

Not much was said.

They were shocked.

Then I went out on disability with my stroke.

I missed them and them me.

We met for lunch today. I was a bit on edge as now my hair is much shorter and I have facial hair.

Would they still accept me? It didn’t matter if they did or not.


I lie.

It did in a way.

We all care about each other.

I hope we still did.

Rosie: Oh you look so much better as a man than you did as a woman.

Fran: Oh my God you look so much more handsome than Chaz.

Paula: Oh wow I can date you now.

I think it went well.

  1. Ursula Then says:

    This post, and the one before it, made me smile big.
    It is nerve wracking. At the beginning of transition, K lost some friends, but most of them stuck by him – some of these surprised us.

    I remember the looks he’d get, people trying to figure out what gender he was. Why should it matter so much, really? It’s a person. Who cares what gender they are. Do you know them? No. So what does it matter to you? I used to stare them down. I don’t think anyone would have done anything, it was mainly curiosity, but K really didn’t like that kind of attention.

    I am glad you are on your way. It must have felt a lot like you were in a holding pattern for awhile…

    • David Gomez says:

      Yes, it was very difficult to manage as I have been on T for three years. I had to shave every morning. Though I have all the other changes such as my voice, the squarer jaw and facial hair due to my not having chest surgery it was very difficult. Fortunately the surgery will be soon ~ and now that I don’t have to shave every morning it is a relief. I am not in early transition as I have been on T for 3 years but I can finally allow the changes to be seen to others when before I had to keep it under wraps. I am feeling so much better. It’s horrible to have to keep silent.

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